Thursday, December 06, 2001
In Belgium, 6th December traditionally is the day St Nicholas passes by, bringing toys and sweets to the good guys, and horror and terror to the bad guys. The horror and terror part is always delegated to black men (jack of spade??), who put the bad children into a sack, then let them disappear. To an unknown destination. Perhaps they'll have to work in some child labour environment to produce flashy sportshoes, who knows...
Anyway, days before the annual D-day, St Nicholas asked me to visit him to supply some good advice on how to take care of kids, because a Grownup surely doesn't know howto. Here's a picture of me on the Saint's lap, while he's interviewing me on the latest educational tips-and-tricks (click on the picture to see a larger version). You can also see there's a micro in front of me, that's because it was also a meeting with my fans at the same time. While the Good Man is trying to get a few words out of me, I was very busy trying to grab the micro, since it looked like I can put it in my mouth.
More about the Saint, his servants and my presents in a later post.
Finally Mr. and Ms. Tooth are out! If you put a finger into my mouth (and if you're fast enough), you can feel their little sharp heads. I can be a Killershark! If you think all pain is gone, you're wrong: there's still a lot of dental grow activity in progress. As a consequence, I screamed a lot last night and I woke up very early. At least an hour of sleep was stolen from mom and dad, hehe.
Other important evolution/update: I've changed my moves. I can be on hands and feet now, which is very cool for... well, I don't know yet. I can sit for a longer time, which is a neat way to grab things without having to crash on your face. At least if you don't grab it too enthousiastically. I heard dad went to a Zen-session this week; they seem to focus on the art of sitting, so I'm ahead of him (also in this domain).
Off-topic subject for all websurfers out there: I can proove my supremacy as upcoming Top-Of-The-World man. If you open the searchengine Google and type cutest antichrist, see what comes up on top of the list: right!
Wednesday, December 05, 2001
NEWSFLASH: Mr. Tooth about to be released
Yesterday, Mr. Tooth announced his arrival for "one of these days". A couple of days ago it seemed like it might never happen, but now you can see Mr. Tooth staring through the window. To be more precise: Mr. and Ms. Tooth: there are two of them ready to popup and face the sunlight.
But they're not there yet, and breaking the glass is very painful and annoying. Result: I go to sleep much later then I usually do, because falling asleep sets the focus on the dental pressure and wakes me up again (screaming). In the morning I want to sleep longer of course, but I have to be at Pseudomom's, so my parents wake me up.
Pretty stupid the way mother nature works... In the future, (Human version 2.0? Or are we still in bčtastatus now?) teeth will probably just "plop" out at a certain moment. It will go something like this: mom changes my diper and isn't watching me for a certain time, suddenly she hears plop-plop-plop-plop-plop, she looks at me and sees a mouth full of shining Colgate-teeth. Mostly like getting a piercing, a short, intense pain.
Alternatively, we might not need them any longer in the future. It's a fact teeth aren't useful: all my food is in a mushy format, or liquid. The only real use of teeth is for self defense purposes: you can hurt others by biting them. F.e. while they are searching with their fingers in your mouth to detect teeth.
A lot of old people don't have teeth either, that's because they realise at that age they don't need them at all. So my guess is: the human race will evolve to a toothless form. We will all be suckers.
Tuesday, December 04, 2001
Young people like myself like remote controls. If our little AWACS scans one within close range, our hands go nuts in an attempt to grab it. There's something very attractive about that little box with all these colourful buttons. Even Grownups cannot resist the remote, so maybe it's a common mistake in human design. But: there's a little difference between Grownups and Cuties. Grownups usually don't struggle about who will be in control of remote control: there's always one of them The Boss. However, being the boss is nothing compared to the will power little ones have developed to struggle for the remote. In the end, we always get it.
It's amazing how much power you have once when you have the remote: while mommy tries to follow what's on the tele, I switch channels, change volume, adjust colours (who said watching television is a passive hobby? It requires a lot of patience and attention in order to follow a program like that). Last friday, the channel memory all got screwed up: most channels only showed grey dots and stripes and the default volume when switching on the television was ULTRALOUD. Nobody knows how this happened, but I seem to be one of the suspects.
Sunday, December 02, 2001
Release date Mr. Tooth postponed
Due to the economic recession, Mr. Tooth (who has been expected for about a month now) won't be released before the end of the year. This doesn't mean he is not there to put some pressure in my mouth. So for a while I don't know the meaning of continuous sleep again. This is just one of the reasons why this articles is so short today: at the time dad, euh, I wanted to finish this article, I woke up again crying and dad, euh, I had to lift me out of the bed to calm me down. No really, I write this stuff all by myself! Sometimes during sleep! So this continuous sleep is important, euh, well,... you see, I need my sleep for the moment.